


Grey Twister

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Drunken Shenanigans, Gen, Oneshot, Twister - Freeform, not that it plays a super big part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-11 05:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2055459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi, Hanji, Erwin, Mike and Nanaba get drunk and play Twister.  Crack ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grey Twister

It was a drinking night. Not a get-a-little-buzzed drinking night, but one worthy of Charlie Sheen’s and Justin Beiber’s lovechild. But all nights were drinking nights when the gang was altogether. That gang being a group of college students who included Hanji, the Biomed major; Mike, the Forensics major; Levi, the thug Stage Fighting Theatre orientated “undecided” major; Erwin, the double major in History and Classics; and Nanaba, the Criminal Justice major.

They all went out together and got roaring drunk at the closest pub, and continued their drunken foxtrot to the next closest pub after having been kicked out of the first one. As follows, the second pub kicked them out in record timing and Hanji was already so drunk that she could barely walk.

* * *

“Hanji,” Erwin shouted, “you can’t hold onto that pole forever, we have got to get back to our dorms!”

Levi looked Hanji straight in the eyes, “yeah, shitty gla-ashes. Just put one fu-shitty foot in front of the otter.” He demonstrated by walking in a line that was as straight as Ellen DeGeneres’s wife.

“Well ok.” She let go. “I was havin’ such agreat hug with Mr. Pole though.” She stumbled towards the rest of the group like Brock going after Nurse Joy. Nanaba offered Hanji her shoulder to lean on and then they walked together.

The gang had stumbled another block down the street when Nanaba interrupted their silence (or at least, everyone’s but Erwin’s since he was humming to himself). “do we just want to crash tonight at my dorm?”

“Sounds better than trying to go farther,” Mike replied.

Erwin stopped humming and walking to think.

“Sir,” Levi mumbled.

Hanji was too busy tangoing with the ground to comment. Erwin was still thinking. Now the other three had their attention on him. “That is an excellent plan!” Levi and Mike nodded in agreement, while Nanaba wondered why Erwin took so long to respond so simply.

* * *

With some more stumbling and a few falls (mainly by Hanji, but some by Levi), they managed to find Nanaba’s dorm building, its elevator, the floor (with a stop on each floor below hers. Levi fell on the directory which had raised instead of inset buttons) and her room suite.

Nanaba shared the suite with three other girls, but they appeared to out for the moment. Nanaba had invited the gang over before, so she knew her roommates had no issue with the group being there.

When Nanaba unlocked the room, Hanji slumped onto the common area’s couch, Erwin and Levi walked in like they owned it, and Mike politely waited for her to go in first.

“Got any bear, Nanaba?” Levi asked.

Hanji wheezed with laughter, “that’s the last thing you need!”

“No, Levi, but there’s water in the fridge,” Nanaba calmly replied.

“Fine, party-shitters,” Levi grumbled.

Mike hung his arms on Nanaba’s shoulders and quietly asked, “Any food in there? I could eat a whole buffalo right about now.”

She tilted her head up at him. “Yogurt’s about it.”

Mike groaned.

Levi slammed the fridge door. He shouted, “Chrissh, I’m tired off thish fuck-shit! All we ever do is goddamn feet and drink! We ne’er do anythin’ fun!”

“C’mon, Levi, that’s not true! Don’t be such a pissbaby,” Hanji giggled.

“Shove it, four-ice!” Levi hissed back.

“Calm your tits, man. Can’t we just chill here?” Mike responded, still resting on Nanaba’s shoulders.

“Ya wanna fight me, you fucking tree!” Levi shouted back.

“No thanks, shrub.”

Levi trembled with rage. “Why you-“ Erwin placed a hand on his arm. Levi stilled, waiting for Erwin to speak.

“How about,” Erwin said before pausing. He blinked and seemed to forget what he was saying. His face lit up and continued, “we play a game.”

Levi took a deep breath in and out. “Ok, Erwin. Which one?”

Erwin mimicked The Thinker’s pose. “Hmmmmm…”

“I have Twister,” Nanaba volunteered.

“Woohoo! I’m in!” Hanji exclaimed.

“Sure,” Levi said unenthusiastically.

Erwin looked up from his pose and said, “I trust that we’ll have fun.”

“I think I’ll sit this one out, guys,” Mike said.

“Aw! Mike, don’t be spoilsport! C’mon and play with us,” Hanji whined.

Levi deadpanned. “Why don’ we have Mount Olympus be crawler?”

Nanaba gently grabbed Mike’s arm, “If you’re caller, then you wouldn’t really have to play and you could laugh at our awkwardness!”

Mike gave a little huff and let his bangs slide over his eyes. “Fine.”

“Don’t be that way,” Nanaba pouted, sticking her lower lip out, “you have to be able to see the spinner.”

Mike tossed his hair like Justin Bieber used to and snuck an arm around Nanaba. She stopped pouting as much.

“No time for that!” Hanji squealed as she rushed past the couple with Twister in hand. However, her wake from querying the game looked like the other kind had passed though. She slammed the game on the floor and when she opened it, the sound of ripping cardboard could be heard. She yanked the mat out and threw it at Levi. “Help me out please, little tree,” she hummed.

“Ow?” the mat had hit Erwin instead.

“Hoe ‘bout I help yer face into the garbage where it belongsh?!” Levi snarled.

“I…” Erwin started and stopped. Levi looked back at him angrily. Erwin gave him a kicked puppy face in return. “I have, got, this end, Hanj,” Erwin tried contemplating which verb to use. Apparently he was thinking too hard because he dropped his side of the mat. Levi grabbed it instead and threw the rest at Hanji, knocking her glasses off.

* * *

Eventually they got the mat spread out flat on the floor. Mike sat on the couch spinner in hand. Levi was itching for a fight so he argued with Hanji over the best position to start in.

Mike sighed and spun the dial. “Right hand to blue,” he said, cutting them off.

They all complied. “Left foot to red.” Mike gave them time to finish. “left hand to green.” Hanji lunged in front of Levi to steal the dot closest to him and because physics, Levi pushed Nanaba, whose foot slipped.

“I guess I’m out,” she said with a glare at Levi. He shrugged back, pleased that the odds were in his favor. Erwin waited for her to move and then reached over Hanji and Levi to place his hand on a dot.

“Ugh, I’m going to go get Starbucks then. I don’t think I can deal with the noise when you guys start fighting,” Nanaba said while pinching the bridge of her nose. She let go. “Want anything?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Hanji replied with a wide smiling titan grin.

“I’d like black tea, shtereo tropical white girl,” Levi grumbled.

“This Starbucks never has tea, sorry,” Nanaba said.

“Fine, nothing,” Levi bitched like Ciel Phantomhive.

“I’m fine,” Mike piped in.

“Ok. Erwin?”

“… good,” he paused and realized that a grammar nazi would have punched him for that response. He corrected himself with “I’m good.”

“Alrighty. I’m taking the key with me, so don’t lock yourselves out,” Nanaba said in a mommy voice.

“Ok, honey,” Mike said like a 60s sitcom husband.

She left in a rather plain, completely unextraordinary, normal manner.

“Right hand green.” Everyone got it.

* * *

The game continued with everyone going through until Levi and Hanji started arguing over whose hand had landed on a dot first.

“Shove off, pour eyes, I wash here first,” Levi barked.

“Levi, my hand’s on the bottom,” Hanji replied.

Levi started making that one constipated, angry face. You all know exactly what face, don’t lie. Be like Shakira’s hips. He spat out, “Why you-“

“Umph!” both Hanji and Levi breathed out.

“Er-wine, you Olaf, get off!” Levi shouted while trying to elbow Erwin while also keeping his hands on the dot. Needless to say, his arms were too short like the rest of him.

“Wha?” Erwin mumbled as he woke up.

“You’re out, Erwin. You fell asleep on top of everyone,” Mike explains.

“Shuddup, Godzilla, no one tops me!” Levi shouted with fervor.

Hanji snickered, “That’s because you can’t get laid.”

Levi head-butted her.

“Erwin, please get off the mat already,” Mike requested.

“Oh. Oh, yeah, sure thing,” Erwin responded. He pushed off by putting his hands on both Levi’s and Hanji’s backs. He still managed to get up better than soccer medics pulling actually injured players off a field. He took a seat by Mike.

“Right foot blue.”

“Left foot yellow.”

“Left hand green.”

“Um… Mike?” Erwin asked, pointing to the spinner like Jack Sparrow.

“Yes?”

“Um… Wasn’t that blue?”

“I don’t know. I’m colorbind.”

Everyone stared at Mike who stared at no one because all he could see were his Justin Bieber bangs.

* * *

Nanaba arrived 5 minutes late with Starbucks to see Levi attempting to punch Mike. Mike sitting like a cat on the top of a tall armchair. Hanji wrapped in the Twister mat Cleopatra style. And last, but not least, Erwin in the kitchenette drinking a glass of water.

 

And that’s what you missed on modern drunk!AU.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I'm just starting to get back into writing. Before this I had published 5 chapters altogether of various Hetalia fics. To keep that from happening again, I'm going to try writing the first 3-5 chapters of the next fic I want to work on and then post it weekly. I hope you enjoyed this oneshot!


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